It happened: you are in love. Unfortunately, you can't be really happy about it, because you fell in love with your affair of all people. Can a non-binding, exciting love affair develop into a real relationship with real feelings? When this is possible - and when you should get the thought of real, great love out of your head, you will find out here.

Signs that you are in love with your affair

Pure emotional chaos: You just found him only physically attractive, suddenly there are emotions in the room that you hadn't planned on. Some of the signs that you can tell that you have fallen in love with your affair include:

Your heart pounding only at the thought of him - not necessarily just because of your sex, but because you are happy to see him again You think of him all the time outside of your meetings You automatically try to get to know him better and look behind his facade because you are fascinated by his whole being You have often imagined what would happen if you officially dated - and you liked that

We have listed more signs of a real crush for you here. Do the points apply to you? Then of course that's nice first! Being in love is a wonderful feeling. But being in love with an affair can also be a problem. After all, the situation is messed up: the purely sexual relationship should suddenly become something deeper with all the classic obligations and compromises that a relationship entails. Can that work or should it be better to fall out of love again very quickly and end the affair?

By the way, did you know that these five zodiac signs have the best love life? Maybe you and your (still) affair are already part of it ...

In love with an affair: when is there no prospect of success?

You're unhappily in love because you just don't know how to convey to your sex partner that you want more from them. How do you tell an affair that you have fallen in love with them? How do you behave properly? At first glance, it's not easy, after all, the rules of the game of being together are set: You meet for purely physical interactions. Feelings of love, a relationship-like basis of trust, even a normal, amicable relationship outside of bed are usually not part of the plan. In short: it is a temporary sexual adventure.

Whether a one night stand or an affair can turn into something serious depends on a few circumstances and, above all, whether the following points ideally NOT apply:

Did he categorically rule out the possibility of a relationship from the start, or did you slip into the affair without a firm agreement? Does he tell you practically nothing about himself and doesn’t make any move to get to know you better? Does he not prepare meetings in a big way and doesn’t make any effort, for example, when it comes to tidying up or keeping your "dates"? Is your affair actually taken and has you already said that he will not leave his or her partner or is he making his feelings for someone else clear?

Then you have to try to see the whole thing realistically: He seems to insist that the two of you are nothing more than casual sex partners. Perhaps you also know that he has moved from love to love in the past. The question then remains whether he is capable of relational and you can really trust him.

In love with an affair: How a relationship can actually develop

But enough of the pessimism: There are of course also the cases in which a relationship can really develop from a casual affair and that is usually when you also perceive signs from him that he is trying to help you and wants to get to know you. Then maybe you can try organizing dates that aren't primarily about sex. If he agrees and shows just as much enthusiasm, you could try slowly to let the emotional issue arise, how comfortable you are with him and always check how he reacts to it. So it can come to your personal happy ending in the end!

Pure emotional chaos: In love with the affair despite the relationship

Sometimes affairs start out of a situation that one never hoped for or wished for: one is actually in a committed relationship or even marriage and then sleeps with someone else. Cheating in the affect, out of sudden passion, out of frustration with the husband because it is currently in a crisis. And then there is this other man you let yourself into, who is so completely different and who arouses your own thirst for adventure. Finally it happens: you suddenly fall in love with this affair. In love with someone else. If you feel like this, then you shouldn't act rashly. Explore your feelings: Are you really in love with HIM or are you just thinking of escaping all frustration and experiencing something new?

Realize that even if you are in a relationship, everyday life will catch up with you. Even if you both have feelings for each other, the typical arguments, discussions, and compromises await you that you have to master. If you really want to leave your current relationship, you should weigh up whether you really no longer have any feelings for your boyfriend or husband and whether you want to give the affair a chance to make love.

"I fell in love with my affair." That's a really tricky situation. Whether or not real love can result from this is not easy to answer, especially if one or both of you are actually in a relationship. Especially since the question remains: is a secret affair really a good start to a relationship? Of course, there are also cases in which it turned out well. Maybe the new man is your great love too. Listen inside and make the decision that is good for you. Even if that means that you break away from all relationships and first find yourself.